Clarity in the chaos. Magic in the mess.
It’s always a both, a complex balance of both.
I requested my medical records today. I had selected “pick up” ie hard copies of them and the woman in the health records department called immediately after I submitted the form.
“Is this Katharine with a ‘k’and an ‘a’ and three middle names?” I chuckled. “Yes, this is she.” The woman paused, unable to find the words.
Anxious, as I always am, I jumped in. “Did I mess up the form?” She chuckled this time. “Not at all, my dear. It’s just.... well... it’s just that you requested all of them and you asked for hard copies. Do you possibly have a truck? I don’t know if I’m making sense... just, all your records would be a truckload’s worth of paper.”
It was my turn to not have words. I knew I’d been hospitalized a lot but a truckload?
“Oh honey, I’m sorry if I upset you.”
I found my voice. “No no, not at all. But let’s not cut down a rainforest. Can I switch to electronic copies?”
Her smile came through the phone. “Yes my dear and I know I may be out of line here but I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
Gosh, I love humans. “Thank you.” And then after a long pause, “I already have. I’m just finally ready to help others by sharing the whole truth and I need them to know the other side.”
“Well then, I can’t wait to read the book positively Kate.”
There was a click before I could respond. The woman knew me. She knew me.
To whomever you are, thank you for your kindness today. and also, thanks for saving me from cutting down a rain forest too.
Here’s to clarity in the chaos of my past. And here’s to all the voices saved within those records so this story of mine isn’t just my fragmented recollection of the past but instead, a story of all the mess and all the magic held within it.