You know what’s rad? YOU. The real - totally weird however you are weird - YOU.
I had this art teacher in middle school who used to say, “Kate, there is no right way to paint. There is only your way to paint.”
Of course, I still sat there - brace faced, trembling, with my sweatshirt tucked into my leggings 😅 - and took tiny, delicate, terror filled strokes, staring at the best students’ canvases all the while and trying to copy every single brush stroke they took.
My life was like that for a long while after that too. For years - even in college - I was always determined to do it “right” which seemed to always be anything but how I was doing it.
Whether it was how I wore my hair, the hand writing I practiced incessantly at night to look “cool” on the page or how I stood in line waiting for a coffee, I was determined to be something I was not. Basically, I spent my life praying-hoping-working to be not awkward, not anxious and not a total nerd.
It’s taken me years to relinquish my obsession with looking/being/existing/living “right.” But finally, finally, finally, I do it my way.
It all started with the courage to try one little thing my way - to paint one stroke, if you will. For me, that was wearing pink shoes instead of black. And then, little by little, I tried more and more things my way. Little by little my life became my own and my life became what it is today.
Tonight, I wish for you all to find the courage to paint that first stroke just how you feel it to be. Maybe it’s telling your friend you don’t actually like that tv show or its wearing that leather jacket you love but are not sure people will like. Whatever it is, I wish you the courage to do it.
And before you think otherwise - Yes, it will be scary but it sure is worth it because it’s leads to the canvas - your canvas - the one you’d been dreaming of all along.
Okey. Now I’m going to potato chip my face off and watch a trashy tv show because I worked a 12 hour day and balance is hella needed. I hope you know you’re worth whatever you’re craving right now and get after it, potato chips, dog snugs and all.