Learning to Eat
Day by day I am learning to eat and ooooh babé babééé, sometimes it even tastes good 🥰🙌💜
Recovering from an eating disorder is scary more often than not. Each meal, snack, body cue, clothing ad and day brings new fear.
I have yet to have a morning I don’t wake up without that twinge of panic about getting dressed.
But fear of food - at least for me - has always been about something else.
It’s about being loved, accepted and celebrated for being me.
For years I thought the only way to do that was by being super thin and super cover of vogue-esque in my appearance.
That’s not the case- at all - even though there are many days where the lies of my ED make me believe it is.
Either way, today I shared an ice cream with Waffle.
It was scary for most of it.
Thoughts of failure and unlovability raced through my mind.
But there was one moment where the drips hit my toe and she and I smiled and both bit the whole top scoop off together. In that moment, my ice cream tasted GOOD and that was all there was.
I’m holding on to that moment tonight as the voices rage one. Yes, I’m holding on to that one little sweet moment knowing that as I tackle my fear, more are soon to come.